The Sting of Queens Part 1

As a baseball fan, I was deeply disturbed by what I saw at Shea Stadium on that fateful September 29th. I'm no Mets fan, but I was rattled to the core by an image that has now been burned into my brain. Never before have I witnessed something so upsetting, so heartbreaking, so utterly shameful. If I were a Mets fan, I'd still be hiding in the shadows, too embarrassed to venture outdoors, too utterly mortified to show my face among other baseball fans after the mockery that was made of my franchise on the field that day.

I refer, of course, to the creepy romantic jaunt made by Tom Seaver and Mike Piazza as they "closed the door" on Shea forever, blowing kisses all the way.

Seriously...what was that all about?

But when that is the LEAST embarrassing thing your team puts on the field on a given day, then you are in some serious trouble.

To live in the New York/New Jersey area for the past week or so is to think that the Mets collapse is the worst thing in the history of upright walking mankind. Seriously, its everywhere. I swear we are a couple of days a way from the following headlines in the New York Post.

"SENATE SIGNS BAILOUT BILL: HOW DOES THIS AFFECT THE METS 'PEN?"

"PALIN/BIDEN TRADE JIBES OVER ECONOMY, ENVIROMENT, SCHOENEWEIS"


Its incredible, its obnoxious, its cringe worthy, and its exactly what I'm going to discuss in my inaugural post...Heck, I even came up with a "New York Posty" title. "Sting of Queens." Get it?!?!? Rhyming words! Pop culture! How quaint!


But seriously folks, it seems every Tom, Dick, and Jose has a plan for how to fix the Mets. I've heard everything from sign K-Rod, sign Manny, trade Wright and Reyes, leave it as is, bring Butch Huskey out of retirement...No matter what franchise saving deal you've thought of, someone has thought of it already, and theirs includes "prospects."

But can one person really fix a franchise that has choked like someone who crossed OJ three years running? The obvious answer to that question is yes. One shutdown closer and the Mets are in the postseason, no doubt about it...

Sounds eerily like the refrain we heard from the Mets faithful this time last year, does it not? "One true ace and the Mets are in the postseason, no doubt about it." The Mets brass obviously believed that too, as they went and got an ace. And not just any ace...THE ace. The best pitcher in baseball, Mr. Johan Santana. Omar Minaya pulled the trigger on a deal with the Minnesota Twins and in came Johanny-Boy on his white steed to deliever the Mets to the promised land and suddenly the heartbreak would be over and the Mets would be hoisting the Commissioner's Trophy come October 2008!!!

But as the old adage goes, something done got messed up. And its through no fault of Sir Johan of Tovar. He did not lose in his last 17 starts, pitched a masterful game on three days rest when the Mets needed it most, posted a 2.53 ERA, struck out 206 batters...basically, did everything he could to stop the Mets suffering short of building a time machine, going back to the 80s, confiscating Daryl and Doc's first bags of coke and delivering a lecture on the evils of drug use. All this with a torn knee meniscus! It was a Herculian effort that all went to waste when Jerry Manuel called upon Sweet Scotty S on September 28th, leaving Mets players and fans alike in a catatonic state.

So you finish a game out of the playoffs, add the best pitcher in the game and STILL finish a game out of the playoffs...What in the Sam Hill happened?!?! To look at the numbers, its hard to blame anyone but the batting practice pitchers the Mets called a bullpen this season. They blew more than 30 leads after the 7th inning. It got to the point where the Mets added a pitcher who had posted a 1-8 record, with a meager 5.77 ERA, and the fanbase was EXCITED, thinking a reliable arm had been found. (By the way, many congratulations to Luis Ayala for finally passing Bobby for 1st place on the "Least Reliable Ayalas of All-Time list") When Billy Wagner got injured, I wouldn't be floored if Omar Minaya sent a cake with a file in it to the Venezuelan jail that Ugueth Urbina calls home. The bullpen was god-awful and deserves a lion's share of the blame for the Mets collapse. If they could have found the strength to just blow, say, 27 save chances, they would be in postseason right now.

And you can also get nitpicky and place the blame on the shoulders of Jerry Manuel for his managerial desicions...I mean, did he not know the Marlins had Wes Helms sitting on the bench? Was he not aware that righties were hitting .333 against Schoeneweis this season? Has there ever been an easier managerial desicion than the one Fredi Gonzalez made when he saw Double S jogging to the mound?...I mean, at least have a capable righty up and ready so you can make the switch when the pinch hitter comes to the plate. At that point, you have to micromanage and do whatever it takes to win. But Jerry decided to stick with Scotty and Helms decided to stick it in the left field seats...THEN he was pulled and THEN in came a capable righty to slam the door shut on the Mar...oh wait.

But you know what folks? How about sending some of that blame to the Mets offense. 5 runs in the last three games of the season is unacceptable for this "juggernaut" of an offense. There were two on, two out with Mr. MVP (of July and August) Carlos Delgado up at the plate, with Mr. Clutch Artie Rhodes on the mound. Nothing happened. Next inning, up comes Wonderboy, the next Derek Jeter, Mr. MVP (of games that don't mean anything) David Wright...aaaand he pops out...The offense, which contained the afforementioned Wright and Delgado along with Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes, scratched across 1 2 and 2 runs respectively against the Fish. Something ain't right about that.

And what about the architect? Omar Minaya has been held in such high regard around these parts that you'd almost think the Mets had been to the postseason more than one time during his tenure as GM. How quickly we forget that Steve Phillips (a pariah in Flushing) put together something that Omar never has...a World Series team. By all reports, he had Brian Fuentes on a silver platter around deadline day and refused to give up Aaron Heilman, who is about as welcome in Shea as George Foster is these days. He has steadfastly insisted that this is a winning team and there is no reason to shake things up. The Wilpons obviously agree as well. In fact, Ol' Fred said he believes the Mets "overachieved" this year...That's such a headscratchingly stupid remark that I won't even attempt to come up with a clever analogy.

(That being said, Omar Minaya's recent extension doesn't shock me. And for the folks who are shocked, and keep crying out "RESULTS BASED BUSINESS"...The Mets sell out, make money hand over fist, are moving into a beautiful new stadium, and move a ton of merchandise. *THAT* is the job of the General Manager. I'm sure the Wilpons (and any other owner for that matter) have no problem wiping away their "No Playoff" tears with the scads of Benjamins they've made this "failed" season. )

So now that I've accomplished in long-windedly stating what everyone already knows...How can this team go about being fixed? Is it K-Rod? Is it Manny? Is it CC? Is it Lionel Richie you're looking for?...All those questions and more will be answered in The Sting of Queens: Part II (Subtitled The Soothing Balm to Place on Said Sting to Ease the Pain and Generally Improve the Quality of Life). Stay tuned, monkeys.

Until then, go Mariners!



oh jeez.